Chris - I know you’ve got a thing for Miss Rihanna. But I gotta say - I think you’re way more into her than she is into you. She seems to be the boss in this ‘relationship’ from what I could tell from the KFC PDA episode, plus - she claims in every interview that you guys are ‘just friends’.

 Now, I’m hardly a love expert, but perhaps you just need to pull your damn pants up, Chris! Maybe then Rihanna would see you as a man, and not a boytoy. Just something to think about…